The heartbreak of a child dealing with addiction
When you become a parent no matter how prepared you may think you are, there is no actual handbook that guides you through the ups, downs, joys, heartaches and bumps along the way. There are the general guidelines that are just the basic facts of life as each child is unique!
Trying to figure out what went wrong
When your child turns 18 they are basically a young adult and start to steer their lives in the direction they want it to go. As a parent, you reluctantly let go of the reins hoping beyond hope that they will be okay. And when something goes wrong the first reaction as a parent is one that you somehow failed them somewhere along the way. You start harboring guilt and maybe even shame thinking that if only you had done something differently and the big what if and if only factors start to plague you. Some parents react in anger and go on the defensive.
The truth of the matter Once your child is grown there are no parental do-overs, there is no point in beating yourself up over things you think you may or may not have been able to do better.And really there is no such thing as a perfect parent!
Once a child reaches adulthood you as a parent are no longer responsible for their life choices just as your parents were not responsible for yours. And as an adult where are responsible for our very own life choices and as an adult do know the differences between right and wrong!
Here are 3 tips for coping with a son or daughter who is an addict:
#1 Love them – without prejudice or consequence show them how much you love them. But don’t indulge them they must realize there are consequences to their actions.
#2 Help them find the help and support they need – instead of trying to bail them out of difficult situations or aiding them with the financial help of which you cannot be certain of how it is being spent. Rather offer to assist them in finding the help and support they need to recover.
#3 Don’t give up on them – no matter how difficult they get, or how much they try to deny their addiction. Don’t give up on, it is hard and trying, many a time you will just want to give up and walk away but this is the time they need you the most even if they do not know it.
A parent never wants to see their child suffer or believe that they can do things that would potentially put themselves and or others in harm way. But there are no guarantees in life and anything can happen as a parent you have to try to keep your wits about you, stay focused on the fact that your child’s addiction is not your fault and push through as best you can! Seek help for you and your family members to help you all navigate through the difficult times ahead.